I’m currently in the penalty box. Actually, Rocco is in the penalty box, aka the segregated ‘bad dog’ section of the dog park. Why? Well he’s a huge 8 month old puppy with lots of energy and wrestled a submissive dog to the ground 2x. I apologized to the owner and voluntarily banished Rocco to the other side of the dog-park since the other 5 dogs were playing nicely. Rocco was being an asshole and I followed proper dog-park etiquette removing the aggressive dog. Unfortunately not all dog-parkers understand the rules.
So, here’s Pete’s rules. Not the dog park rules but Pete’s common sense dog park rules.
- If your dog isn’t spayed or neutered keep them the hell out of the dog park. Male dogs with balls are much more aggressive and females in heat make all the dogs crazy. Plus, this actually a RULE rule.
- If your dog is really hyped up let them run off some steam in the penalty box side of the dog park first.
- If your dog is being an asshole, put them in the penalty box or take them home. In my example, my dog is a good dog – but today he was an asshole. So owners if your dog is being an asshole try again another day, don’t ruin everyone else’s time.
- Keep your kids out of the dog park and I’ll keep my dog out of your playground, ok? Today there was a perfect parent who warned her sweet little snowflake 20x about running in the dog park. A mid sized dog kept running him down and humping the shit out of him, and the mother expected the humpy-dog’s owner to hold their dog and make him stop. No lady, sorry. Tell your precious snowflake to sit on the damn bench and he won’t be subject to involuntary deviate sexual intercourse.
- Close the damn gate. Why is this so freaking hard? When you come in – let your dog and not all the other dogs out.
- When new dogs come to the dog park grab your freaking dogs so they don’t gang-bang the fresh meat on the way in. 95% of skirmishes at the dog park occur when some dog is scared to death walking into a pack of 10 dogs. Kind of like you walking into the prison shower for the first time.
- Pick up your dog’s turds. Jeebus. Or if your dog has explosive diarrhea like Rocco at least make an effort with the rake to cover it.
- Take your dog’s leash off when you go to the dog park. When you have him/her tethered they’ll be scared. Let them off leash and they’ll find their own place within the pack of other dogs.
- I’m too ADHD to go on, but please submit yours.