Authorities Question Likelihood of Gap Shark Attack

Authorities have serious questions over whether or not a Quarryville man was attacked by a shark while surf-fishing along the Gap Coast.  According to the Gap Lighthouse Keeper, Abner Hockenfoos, Brock Turdkiln reported that he was attacked by a shark at 7 pm on Saturday June 11.  Turdkiln, who was alone, indicated that the attacked occurred while he was surf-fishing for Lancaster Flounder.  As he was standing in four feet of water he saw the shark rear up on his back legs, growl and lunge at him.  He described the shark as being about six feet tall, covered in brown fur and possessing large claws on it’s paws.  Turdkiln also admitted that prior to this he had consumed three quarters of a case of Magic Hat Chaotic Chemistry up to the point of the attack.  The shock of the attack has clouded his recollection somewhat.

Authorities have noted an uptick in sharks on the coast, but they are not entirely certain that this involved a shark.