Pennsylvania State Police Issue Guide: How to Molon Labe Safely
HARRISBURG, PA – The rise in self-styled patriots and militias across the state has prompted the Pennsylvania State Police to issue a guide titled How to Molon Labe Safely. The …
Clipper Stadium Introduces Scrapple-Based Hot Dog For The New Season
LANCASTER, PA – A new item with a local flavor is hitting Clipper Stadium this year to celebrate the Barnstormers 15th season. The new item is a scrapple-based hot dog …
Lititz Woman Arrested For Serving Husbands Cremated Remains
LITITZ, PA – What was supposed to an enjoyable early Easter dinner turned to horror for one Lititz family today. Family attending an early Easter dinner at the Lititz home …
People of Lancaster Hires First Hipster Fact Checker
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE People of Lancaster hires its first hipster fact checker. In the age of ‘fake news’ and its spread across the internet People of Lancaster has hired it’s …
Taking Selfies With The Amish Prohibited Throughout Lancaster County
LANCASTER, PA – Effective May 1st of this year taking a selfie with Amish residents will be a punishable offense in all 40 Lancaster County Townships. More than 8 million …
Newest Lancaster City Police K-9 Named After President Obama
LANCASTER, PA – The Lancaster City Bureau of Police Department’s K-9 Division has a new dog on the force and they have named him after President Obama. The 10 week …
POL Board of Directors Announces Inaugural Person of Lancaster Award Recipient
LANCASTER, PA – The People of Lancaster Board of Directors is pleased to announce the first recipient of its Person of Lancaster Award – Lighthouse Keeper. His commitment to the …
Columbia Residents Say MS13 Chihuahuas Frequenting Club Good Times
COLUMBIA, PA – According to area residents MS13 Chihuahuas are frequenting Club Good Times and causing problems in the neighborhood. Neighbors of Club Good Times reported two chihuahua’s named Menudo …
Pequea Woman Finds Nursing Rattlesnake In Her She-Shed
PEQUEA, PA – A Pequea woman had the shock of her life this morning when she discovered a rattlesnake nursing its young in her she-shed. “I went to my she-shed …
Music Listeners Upset They Weren’t Drugged Before Having to Listen To Cardi B’s Music
Former hooker, stripper and apparent music artist Cardi B has been under fire after admitting she drugged and robbed men in a anger fueled, borderline incoherent, rant most fans confused …
