Shady Maple Smorgasbord Introduces Halal-Friendly Menu, New Mascot
Apparently this satirical piece found the dumb people and hit them squarely on the head and the faux-rage emails have grown tiresome. We have been subjected to a lifetime’s worth …
Thomas The Tank Engine And Percy Come Out As Being On The Same Steam Team
STRASBURG, PA – Thomas the Tank Engine and his longtime nemesis Percy have come out of the roundhouse and announced that they are a same train couple. A favorite of …
IDENTIFICATION ASSISTANCE NEEDED – Do You Know This Man Bun?
WEST MANCHESTER TOWNSHIP, PA – IDENTIFICATION ASSISTANCE NEEDED! PLEASE SHARE! We are attempting to identify the male in the attached photo regarding a retail theft of car detailing products that …
Giant’s ‘Marty’ The Robot Accused Of Sexual Harassment
CARLISLE, PA – The futuristic and presumably friendly robot ‘Marty’ may not be so innocent according to some shoppers who report being sexually harassed by the roving robot. “He was …
Canadians Politely Greet Hurricane Dorian
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA – No longer a threat to Alabama Hurricane Dorian is exiting United States waters and entering Canadian waters where thousands of Canadians have gathered on the shores …
The Annual Return Of Spawning Orcas In The Susquehanna River Begins A Month Early
HOLTWOOD, PA – Orcas have begun their annual return to the Susquehanna River to spawn nearly a month early. The annual orca spawn usually begins in early October but according …
Trump’s Tariffs Worse Than Corn Squid Says Area Farmer
NEW PROVIDENCE, PA – Switching from corn to soybeans has proven disastrous for one area farmer. “The corn squid epidemic got too bad so we switched from corn to soybeans. …
Photographer Captures Dolphin Caught In Hurricane Winds
FORT PIERCE, FL – A photographer with The Weather Channel captured the strength and tragedy of severe weather this evening when he photographed a dolphin that was caught in Hurricane …
Desperate To Improve Ratings WHP CBS 21 Introduces Bikini Weather
HARRISBURG, PA – Perennial Nielsen ratings cellar dweller and bottom feeder WHP CBS 21 is taking drastic steps to improve its viewership. Sinclair Broadcasting Group (SBG), who has owned WHP …
Wild Florida Giraffes Take Hurricane Storm Surge In Stride
FORT LAUDERDALE, FL – Wild Florida giraffes are taking the taking the hurricane storm surge in stride. Giraffes throughout Florida have been seen wading through the storm surge with their …
