Columbia Looks to Powerball to Fund Borough

Lower than expected property tax revenues have forced Columbia Borough to turn to the Powerball multi-state lottery as a last-ditch effort to stay afloat in 2016 and beyond. In an emergency meeting Wednesday morning, Columbia Borough Council, with the blessing of Mayor Leo Lutz, voted 7 to 0 to take the last $58 dollars from the Boro’s bank account and buy 29 tickets to the Saturday evening Powerball drawing; the jackpot is expected to be well over $700,000,000.

“Even if we get just four of the numbers right, we’ll have more than enough to fund police, fire, and school operations for several years. We’d be stupid not to do it,” said Mayor Lutz, from his bunker under the Turkey Hill Experience.

It was unclear what would happen if the tickets weren’t winners, but Councilman Ima Stabbins remained optimistic, “It can’t get any worse.”

The Powerball drawing will be televised live on Saturday at 11PM EST.