After much deliberation at the People of Lancaster News Room it has been decided that People of Lancaster will no longer be referring to itself as a “Satire” website and instead classify itself as a “News” website. What has lead to the change is that “News” websites have historically enjoyed a more distinguished presence on the internet with greater following and thus more advertising dollars.
When asked for comment, head writer and lighthouse keeper Abner Hockenfoos released the following statement which was delivered via courier Doberman:
“We have decided to make this dramatic change in light of the fact that a large percentage of our readers believe everything we publish is true. With Snopes investigating most of our articles on a daily basis we decided why fight it?
Only 8% of Fox News information is verifiably true, we can easily beat that. There is a Lancaster, we have Amish, and we do make stuff up. This alone accounts for at least 10% of our content.”
When asked if we could interview other People of Lancaster staff, Keeper Hockenfoos stated “Henry, Area Man, Mary Etta, Seymore, JW, Mason, Doc, Moose, D-Bag, 23 ½ cents, Tekken and Johnny are not available for comment at this time or the foreseeable future.”
The Street estimates that this could potentially increase Ad Revenue by almost $ 8.50 a year, a 53% increase in sales over last year.