Kabul Post Declares Columbia “New Kabul”

Kabul, Afghanistan – Fresh on the heels of the gleaming New York Post article proclaiming Lancaster as the new Brooklyn, Afghanistan’s sole remaining newspaper, The Kabul Post, declared Lancaster County’s own Columbia Boro, the new Kabul.

In the article, Lifestyles Editor Abdul Namamahazedgoatfuquerijiaberjian described war-torn downtown Columbia as:

“Hadha almakan hu hdha alquraf . Tamamaan mithl ladayna kabul alhabib.”

Translation services weren’t immediately available, but we’re sure the Kabul Post held Columbia in a positive light.

A woman walks by Columbia Market House.
A woman walks by Columbia Market House.