Local Man Loses Race To Change Fantasy Team Name To The “Pussy Grabbers”

Arnold Thompson, 43, sped home from his Leola place of employment on Friday, weaving in and out of traffic. Just prior to leaving work for the day, he learned of Donald Trump’s leaked tape, and knew the now famous “grab ’em by the pussy’ quote would make the best fantasy football team name. His phone was dead, and the only way to make it happen, was to use his desktop computer. He raced through the front door, flipped on the computer, loaded up his browser, navigated to his fantasy homepage, and that’s when he saw…

He was too late. His friend Jim beat him to it.

“I was like, ‘that son of a bitch,'” said Thompson. “He’s not even that funny, his wife probably suggested it. I still can’t even get over it.”

Thompson has spent the last few days trying to extract another team name from the Trump tapes, but nothing else would stick. Pussy Grabbers was just too perfect.

“It’s topical, it’s timeless, and it’ll get a handful of laughs for sure,” said Thompson.

When asked how he felt about how it may make his female league-mates feel, Thompson simply replied, “probably pretty shitty. That’s the point.”