Columbia, PA – Diners in Lancaster County’s stinky armpit, Columbia, breathed a collective sigh of relief last month when it was announced that the venerable Hinkle’s Pharmacy Restaurant would remain open under new ownership. Hinkle’s had achieved a solid 4th place for LNP’s Best Dining in Columbia for 28 years in a row, finishing right behind the McDonald’s, the Subway, and the diner that you can still smoke in that changes its name every 8 months.
Taking notice of the importance of Columbia’s culinary scene was the town’s old salty-dog ship skipper, Captain Samuel Tennille, whose Susquehanna River-faring vessel, The Muskrat sloshes up and down the mighty river day and night to bring “the freshest” seafood to the area. Captain Tennille recently purchased a defunct greasy-spoon on 3rd Street at a borough auction for $1,600 and is opening the “Whale & Porpoise Cafe” in January. The 75-seat restaurant will offer exotic dishes such as whale casserolle, orca omelettes, seal sandwiches, and dolphin croquettes. All dishes will be prepared from local-caught, unsustainable fisheries located on the unpolluted portion of the Susquehanna River and its tributaries.
The cafe will also offer specials throughout the week, including “Whale of a Tale Wednesdays” where you can receive a free tartar or cocktail sauce packet in exchange for your best fishing story. “Club a Seal Saturdays” where kids can pick out and club their own baby seal. The cafe, including lighting and heating will be run entirely on whale oil, which is made from rendering the blubber from the animal over a coal-fired copper cauldron. The cafe will feature Pepsi products.