Another Successful First Friday Followed by Trash Saturday

“Man, another great First Friday in the books” exclaimed director Tara Holenme from the Mayor’s Office of Special Events, known as MOOSE, as she waded though ankle high debris on N. Queen Street. “You can always tell a successful Friday by how much trash is in the street on Saturday.”

Seeing of all of the empty boxes of wine, bottles of beard oil, and American Spirit butts laying around inspired local activist Todd Lerfondler. “This is a great opportunity to cash in on all the excess white suburban guilt. So I launched my Clean Lancaster In Time for Sunday program, CLITS for short”.

White suburban families are encouraged to come downtown and make a $20.00 donation. For their donation they’ll get a CLITS T-shirt proving that they care about clean streets, a stick with a nail at the end, and a hefty bag.