Lancaster Man Accepts Donald Trump As His Lord And Savior
WILKES BARRE, PA – A Lancaster Man who attended Monday’s Trump Rally in Wilkes Barre accepted Donald Trump as his Lord and Savior in a post-rally ceremony. “I seen him …
DEBATE: Both Candidates Expected To Stare At Each Other In Silence For 90 Minutes
Campaign strategists from both Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton’s teams have encouraged their respective candidates to just not speak for the duration of the second Presidential debate on Sunday night. …
BREAKING: Trump Reads Books, Hates NASCAR
A shocking, newly released recording of Donald Trump has been leaked exposing his love of literature and disdain for all things NASCAR. “Steinbeck, sure,” said Trump, talking to a unknown …
Trump-Free Safe Zones Established In Lancaster City
LANCASTER, PA – In an effort to keep decent citizens of Lancaster safe during GOP Presidential candidate Donald Trump’s visit this Saturday Mayor Gray has established ‘Trump-Free Safe Zones’. “We …
Obama Reveals Plan For Heterosexual-Free U.S. By 2030
In a second speech in front of the U.N. this past week, President Obama discussed his plans to move the United States of America toward a heterosexual-free country by the year …
“Your Conscience” Has 15 Point Lead In Polls
Hillary Clinton landed in second place in a new nationwide poll, followed closely by Donald Trump–with Gary Johnson and Jill Stein coming in at 4th and 5th, respectfully–but it was …
FDR’s Doctors Say Polio, Death Led To 9/11 Event No-Show
A long battle with polio–followed by a stroke in 1945 that ultimately led to his demise–kept Franklin Roosevelt from attending a 9/11 anniversary event in New York City, NY earlier …
Penn Manor Student President Clueless About Aleppo, Too; Resigns In Disgrace
The Student Council President at Penn Manor High School was forced to resign after failing to understand what Aleppo is during discussion about Gary Johnson, the US Presidential candidate who …
Mayor Gray: “If I lose…strip clubs on every corner”
Lancaster Mayor, Rick Gray, has continued the long-standing tradition of keeping strip clubs out of Lancaster city; but he worries that the 2017 election may put an end to that. …
Gov. Wolf Decrees All Public Restrooms ‘Transgender Friendly’
HARRISBURG, PA – Governor Wolf decreed all public restrooms ‘Transgender Friendly’ today in a small ceremony in the State Capitol. Following the Obama administration’s issued guidance to schools requiring they …
