Excessive Barnstormer Firework Soot Expected to Fill in City Potholes: Road Repair Cancelled

Lancaster, PA

The Mayor’s office published a press release this morning announcing that in order to save the city money, the 2016 effort to repair roads will be put on hold as it’s expected that soot excessive fireworks from the Barnstormers games will eventually fill in all of the pot holes.

real fucking neat

“We’ve done the research, and we feel that with the amount of fireworks we launch at the end of every Barnstormers game and related stadium events, and every week day at 4:30, and every time a train pulls into the Amtrak station, that this should generate enough soot that would eventually fill in the pot holes and the cars driving over them will be able to pack the soot in permanently”

Until further notice all road repairs for 2016 have been put on hold and are expected to be cancelled. The city plans to buy more fireworks with the tax revenue saved.