College Swans Tie Knot in Local Gay Marriage Ceremony

After forty-two years of living together as “pond mates”, Millersville University swans and campus ambassadors, Miller and S’ville have officially united in a same sex marriage ceremony yesterday afternoon.

“We felt, in today’s climate, the time was right for us to become husband and husband,” said Miller. “In the past, locals have been much less tolerant of non-traditional relationships. As little as ten years ago, a duck/goose couple would have subject to harassment and ridicule at this school. Now, is much more common and publicly accepted. It is even common to see an amphibian-mammal relationship like the one between the pond bullfrog and a local squirrel. The general consensus is, if they are happy, who cares?”

The festivities were presided over by former Millersville President and wig aficionado, Francine McNairy. Over two hundred guests were in attendance, including several icons of the National Gay Animal community including Squidward, Snagglepuss and Winnie the Pooh. Readers wishing to send a wedding present should consult the couple’s campus bookstore registry.