Corn Squid Attack Sends Three to Lancaster General

Last night three teenagers were attacked by Corn Squid after walking by a corn field in Strasburg. Their injuries range from scratches and bruising to 13 stitches.

“We were walking by the road, and we heard a rustling, but we just figured it was an opossum or a raccoon. the next thing we know we’re being attacked by a heard of squid!” Said one of the teens attacked over night.

A dead Corn Squid found along Rt 30.

“These kids are very lucky,” Said the attending surgeon, “Squid can get very aggressive, and they’re lucky they only walked away with cuts and scratches, Corn Squid have been known to carry Corn-Mouth Disease.”

Corn Squid are a rare land cephalopod in the same family as the endangered Tree Octopus found in Oregon. They’re quick and use their tentacles to move through the corns stalks, they mostly only eat small rodents, but because they’re very territorial, they have been known to attack humans. This is the first recorded human attack in this year.