Donald Trump Delivers Speech With Only A Partial Erection, In Honor Of Brussels Tragedy

Donald Trump decided to perform at his most recent rally with only a partial erection; as opposed to sporting his usual raging boner.

“All around this country–this great country–people are flying their flags at half-mast,” said Trump. “So, I’ve decided to do the same. This chubs for you, you cowardly terrorists.”

The speech itself, however, fell flat. Trump furthered his economic ideas with a legitimate plan of action; and his thoughts on foreign policy seemed entirely too logical. The audience looked dumbstruck.┬áTrump’s erection is usually achieved by looking at a picture of his daughter, Ivanka, prior to each speech in order to redirect blood flow from his brain to better pander to┬áhis supporters.