Food Review: Sheetz Walker Breakfast Ranger

SHEETZES, PA – Hungry, yet undecided on what I wanted, I made a quick stop at Sheetz this morning certain that I would find something on their menu that would satisfy my hunger.

At the order kiosk I saw this bad boy – the Walker Breakfast Ranger. The name alone said, “Take my money.” All $4.45. Yes, I pretty much bought it on name alone.

The Walker Breakfast Ranger is a toasted bagel with a fried egg, fire roasted tomato sauce, cream cheese, red onions, pico, guacamole, and bacon. Pretty much all of my personal food groups wrapped up in on breakfast sandwich.

In my usual rush I decided to take this bad boy back to my office desk to eat. Which I would learn was a good idea.

The Walker Breakfast Ranger was prepared as it was noted and actually looked as good as it did in the picture. But not unlike that hot blonde sitting alone at the bar at Annie Bailey’s around closing time – beneath that beautiful exterior luring you in there is a cauldron of crazy brewing inside.

The bagel is the most dense of the holed baked goods. Pretty much my most favorite bread. On the inside of this sandwich is a lot of soft guts. Everything but the red onions and bacon is soft. Biting into the Walker Breakfast Ranger creates an avalanche of egg, fire roasted tomato sauce, cream cheese, pico, and guacamole out the other side.

I don’t know. Maybe my incisors are not sharp enough to make a quick and lethal bagel bite that minimizes sandwich overspill but when that stuff came out the other side I was like a kid losing the top scoop of their ice cream cone to the sidewalk.

This sandwich had everything I like and was very tasty but it was sloppy and I had to use a fork.

Do I recommend it? Sure but with the “watch out this shit is messy” warning. You definitely do not want to eat this in your car. Well, unless it’s a late 90’s piece of shit Ford Taurus fleet car you no longer give a damn about, then it may be okay.

I will probably get the Walker Breakfast Ranger again but it will likely be a “it’s 3am, I’ve been drinking, and happened to be in the neighborhood relationship.”

Have fun, Patriots. I am going to go talk to the blonde at the bar.