Gay Marriage Arrives at Local Historic Catholic Church Starting on the 4th of July

(Lancaster, PA) The United States Supreme Court ruled last week that the institution of marriage is a right not only for traditional Male and Female couples, but Gay and Lesbian couples throughout the country. The historic ruling has opened up equal rights to millions of citizens that have, until now, been unable to enjoy the benefits that Heterosexual pairs have taken for granted for hundreds of years.

Local reaction has been more apprehensive to accept these changes, mostly due to the Conservative nature of Lancaster County’s residents.
One historic Catholic Church is looking to change all that, starting on the 4th of July.

Hipster Deacon Gatsby Fraiser
Hipster Deacon Gatsby Fraiser

Deacon Gatsby Fraiser, the self-proclaimed “Hipster Deacon”, heads the Public Relations Outreach Office at St. Blaise’s Church on Ocean Avenue in Lancaster. Deacon Fraiser has graciously accepted the Supreme Court’s ruling and plans on softening the stony hearts of his flock, one Gay Marriage at a time.

“It’s been a difficult week here in the St. Blaise’s Rectory and a heated debate between the Elders of the Church has been ongoing since the ruling” Fraiser stated. “Although it seems counter-intuitive, we’ve decided to be one of the first Catholic Churches in the Nation to accept this ruling with open arms and open hearts and allow Gay Marriages to occur within our walls. There’s no doubt that we are going to be doing it first, before it becomes mainstream.”

Guys KissingDeacon Fraiser continued, “Although many Catholics believe that the Bible expressly forbids Gay Marriage, it’s clear that language has changed over the Millennia, and we’re probably just misinterpreting it.” The Deacon then listed off many Bible verses that were related to homosexuality and downplayed each with explanations such as “Leviticus 18:22? That’s like… 3,000 years ago… people just don’t talk like that anymore” and “Romans 1:26-27? That was a story about worshiping other Gods, if the Gays worship our God, we’re totally fine with it.”

Gay Marriages at St. Blaise’s will begin at 12pm on Saturday, July 4th and end with the scheduled Vigil at 5:30pm.

To help spread Gay Marriage awareness, the Annual Independence Day Wiener Roast and Clam Bake will have an info booth with pamphlets and refreshments such as Virgin Cosmopolitans and Rosé wine. The fundraising event will be held after Saturday’s evening Vigil.

All proceeds for the event will help raise money for the Annual Vatican 2 Boxcar Derby and the Lil’ Crusaders Reading Club.