Grandparents Jealous Of Bernie Sanders’ Appeal To Their Grandchildren

Grandparents nationwide are becoming increasingly more jealous of the draw their grandchildren seem to have to the 74-year old Presidential Candidate, Bernie Sanders.

“I’m political,” said Marsha-Kay Hoerner, 78. “I have stories, and can go off on a rant. I just don’t get why my grand-kids will listen to him but not me.”

At a recent holiday meal, Hoerner began to discuss current affairs with her grandchildren in an attempt to win them over.

“It didn’t go well,” said Hoerner. “I told them, these [slur] are the reason why they can’t get jobs out of college. And how I can’t believe that they have friends who have kids at such a young age, even though I believe abortion is one of the worst sins you can commit.”

“She just looked at me,” said Hoerner’s granddaughter, Milicent, “and started saying, ‘abortion is murder. Abortion is murder. Abortion is murder.’ Then she drank a Fresca, yelled the n-word out the window, smacked the cat with her cane, and asked my Mom to help her use the bathroom without, and I quote, ‘getting it all over.'”

“So, to answer your question, no. I wouldn’t vote for my Grandma.”