Green Dragon And Ephrata To Merge

Green Dragon and the elected officials of Ephrata met last week to discuss ways for the two to better their respective situations. Green Dragon just finished building a new structure to replace the one that burned down last year, and was looking leverage that into more business. Ephrata was looking to become more relevant–or, relevant.

The two decided to just make Ephrata one big Green Dragon, and for Green Dragon to encompass the entire town of Ephrata.

The similarities were already there, so the merger made sense. Ephrata residents seem to keep most of their possessions on the front porch, anyway. Green Dragon serves as a self-sustaining shopping ground for Ephrata residents: a place for them to work, spend their money, and generally mingle with each other. The merger will also receive funding from the Lancaster Chamber of Commerce.

Friendly Gov't Officials Inspecting Sundries
Friendly Gov’t Officials Inspecting Sundries

“This could be great for Lancaster,” said Mayor Rick Gray. “If we can basically put a chunk of money inside of this new Ephrata-Green-Dragon-combo, and let them just cycle it back and forth, we can potentially keep Ephrata people from ever leaving the town and coming to Lancaster.”

Residents will be encouraged to buy all of their staples from their neighbors and from people set up on the streets: Ephrata necessities like sausages, straw hats, random shit in boxes on the ground, french fries, subs, and 20 year-old stuffed Winnie the Pooh dolls.

The town will also be chartering a bus from Staten Island, NY into town three times per week. This will allow all of the Chinese, Chechnyan, and East African vendors to bring their knock-off goods without wasting money on gas.