Guillotine Attacks On The Rise in City’s Northwest

While most of the neighborhoods in the City of Lancaster are seeing a rise in stabbings and shootings, a dramatic uptick in guillotine attacks in the Chestnut Hill neighborhood has residents on the edge. In the past year there have been two guillotine attacks, one of which ended in a beheading. Known for its tree-lined streets, bike lanes, majestic, well-appointed homes, and Franklin & Marshall College, the Chestnut Hill section is home to an array of professionals, academics, and students.

These are well-planned, meticulously carried out attacks; the perpetrator or perpetrators likely have advanced degrees in both Engineering and French History,” said Dr. Marcel Depardieu, Associate Professor of French Ancien Régime and Revolutionary History.

Local architect Francis “Frank” Grimes discussed the complexity of the crimes: “Alignment of these ancient weapons usually requires four to five well-trained civil engineers, historians, and professional blade sharpeners, armed with a myriad of T-squares, sextants, compasses, slide-rules, and whetting stones. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill city drug dealers.”

City Council, along with Mayor Gray will soon announce a 75 person committee who will look into these guillotine attacks and recommend an action plan.

Anyone with information is asked to contact the French Embassy on South Lime St.