“Daddy can we go camping?”
Sure, we’ve all been that kid wanting to go out in the woods and somehow connect with nature.
Many of us were happy to just unpack a Coleman tent and some sleeping bags in the back yard. Telling ghosts stories till you fall asleep. Not in this day and age.
NOPE, daddies today are big sissies! You can’t just go out and sleep in the backyard, driving stakes into the yard is against the homeowners association bylaws. Don’t even dare think about suggesting going to the forest. “Fuck that, There’s shit out there dying to eat your face. Mosquitos the size of Buicks,” Dad will say.
NO, today’s campers have a better idea. A 42 foot travel trailer towed by an equally obnoxious pickup. Yes, homes on wheels, three bedroom palaces on wheels. Pop out sections so you can sleep 25 people. Fireplaces, kitchen sinks, showers, 88inch big screens. Yep it’s got all that plus a coffee maker.
A modern home away from home that you just hook up and drag down the highway. Never mind the fact that you haven’t a freaking clue how to tow a trailer. It’s ok, get out there and play Billy Big Rigger. Oh, you didn’t realize these things have a weight limit? NO PROBLEM, just load it up with everything you own until the bumper drags. We all know you just need to be close to Mother Nature.
Ah yes, you’re a regular off the grid natural survivalist. I mean come on you’ve backed up that RV at the campground, right? How you got it parked that straight is amazing! Oh, it’s a pull-thru…now it adds up. I knew you couldn’t have backed it in, I’ve seen you trying to park your Lexus.
But hey, you’re all set now to shake hands with your inner wild man. Let’s gather some wood and start a camp fire… Well, in your case turn on the propane for the gas fireplace.Are you going to cook hot dogs and marshmallows on a stick, or just pop them in the microwave?
And talk about roughing it, you just went from 4G to 3G. Damn Rambo you’re ready to punch a bear right in its snout.