HOLTWOOD, PA – A Lancaster County man is reportedly on the shortlist to the next White House Chief of Staff.
Jim-Bob Cooper of Holtwood announced to his friends at the Rawlinsville Hotel and Bar that he is going to be the next White House Chief of Staff for President Trump.
“Yeah, I told all them that I was going to get the job and bought everyone a round of Buds” said Cooper.
Despite lacking any tangible experience or understanding of the job Cooper explained why he is suited for the job.
“I have 37 Trump stickers on my truck and wear this MAGA hat everyday. I’ll set them libtards straight.”
A spokesperson for the White House confirmed Cooper’s consideration for the job citing his loyalty. An insider who asked not to identified said that everybody who has been offered the job has declined and the White House is settling on Cooper.
After about a half dozen beers Cooper announced that he and some friends were going “to go chase some Mexicans back to Lancaster City”.