Lancaster To Showcase “Greet The Teat” In August

After the overwhelming success of the incredibly supercilious “Keys to the City” initiative, Lancaster City has decided to add another interactive attraction catered to the less culturally-minded masses.  Starting on August 1, the City plans to place 14-16 dairy cows at various locations in the City and will encourage residents to “Greet the Teat” and milk these bovines for free.

Far from being “udder” nonsense, the program seeks to afford our sophisticated and urbane City dwellers the opportunity to connect with our agri-heritage and enjoy some good old-fashioned Lancaster County raw milk.  There is a one pint limit per family.  Locations will be announced on July 27.  We have been told that area businesses will also get involved in the fun: Whirl-A-Sage will allow participants to bring their milk to the spa where their highly trained technicians will churn it into butter as you watch – a truly happy ending for you and the whole family!