Long’s Park Gloryhole to Start Accepting Credit Cards and BitCoin

In a move to reinvigorate the local economy, starting in May, the Longs Park Bathrooms will be installing credit card machines to accept all major credit cards and bitcoin. Previously, patrons of the bathrooms had to result to passing money through the hole and wait for a hand written receipt. The Lancaster Department of Parks is making the move to credit card and wireless transfers to save time and money. BC_Logo_

In an effort to stay ahead of the tech curve, they’ve also added the ability to take bitcoin. Bitcoin is a type of virtual currency, invented by Satoshi Nakamoto, that can be bought online and traded anonymously or mined by computer nerds that sleep with anime pillows and wear fedoras. No one really knows how it works, just like our real economy.

“Up until now we had to push sticky bills and coins through the glory hole, that’s disgusting, do you know how dirty money is?” Said local patron Barry Goldsmith, a Lititz native and frequent patron.

shitterMy accountant hated peeling all of my handwritten receipts apart, come tax time it was hard to write off me getting off, this will really streamline the process” (Name redacted by request)

“This is great, sometimes I don’t have all night to go down to the Tally Ho and buy some stranger drinks,” said Gary McDickerson,  if I’m going to spend money one way or another, why not just cut the the chase and throw my sausage through the ‘meatgrinder’, swipe my card, and go home?”

This is a huge leap forward for technology in Lancaster. POL will stay on the story to see if this project will be a success.  Do you have any Long’s Park bathroom stories? We want to hear from you! Comment below and tell us! You may be featured in our follow up article.