Well it didn’t take too long. Andy Keagan, the office dick head and loudmouth extraordinaire is already letting everyone know how much of an expert he is about golf, just in time for the LPGA tour in Lancaster this week. When Andy isn’t pretending to be an expert on everything he’s hanging over cubicles of the women employees and spreading his stank breath all over the office. Just last week he tried hitting on Heather Thompson over in underwriting, like that was going to work. Reports tell us he was talking about talking about that “one time he went to a Grateful Dead concert” and Heather finally faked an incoming call so he would go away.
“He spent half of his morning in the break room telling people to about how he knows someone who knows someone that’s an agent for one of the women’s golfers, like were just supposed to give a shit” Said Lisa Adams who works in accounting.
“I swear to God if I hear him say “HEY GUY’S CHECK OUT MY BACK-SWING” as he pantomime’s a tee-off one more time, I’m going to take my stapler and smack it across his God damn face. If this keeps up, I’m eating lunch in my car.” Said Jack Martin in Sales.
“I’ve been an intern here for almost 8 months now, and nothing in my college education prepared me for pricks like this, the guy never shuts the fuck up!” Said Travis Greene, Mail Room intern.
Reports are coming in that after Andy finished off the break room coffee pot and not starting a new one, he could be heard yelling “FORE” as he went to go blow up the bathroom. We’ll be checking in later to see if the coworkers are going to make it through the week.