Area Kewpie Doll Attended Tea Party In Black Face
LANDISVILLE, PA – People of Lancaster has discovered an old picture of an area Kewpie Doll who attended a tea party in black face. “We are shocked and disappointed” said …
LCBC Youth Pastor Starts Insane Christian Posse – Juggalos For Jesus
MANHEIM, PA – LCBC Youth Pastor Derek Parker has started a youth group, or what he likes to call, an Insane Christian Posse. “I really think it is a great …
Trump’s China Tariffs Benefit Local Dildo Manufacturer
East Lampeter Twp – The trade war with China has negatively impacted many industries however there is one local company that is reaping the rewards. Mister Fister Dildoes is America’s …
Mount Joy Businessmen To Convert TMI Into Adventure Park
Londonderry Township – Today marks the end of an era as Three Mile Island officially begins shutting down today. Employees, locals and environmentalists all are concerned with what will happen …
Shady Maple Smorgasbord Introduces Halal-Friendly Menu, New Mascot
Apparently this satirical piece found the dumb people and hit them squarely on the head and the faux-rage emails have grown tiresome. We have been subjected to a lifetime’s worth …
Thomas The Tank Engine And Percy Come Out As Being On The Same Steam Team
STRASBURG, PA – Thomas the Tank Engine and his longtime nemesis Percy have come out of the roundhouse and announced that they are a same train couple. A favorite of …
IDENTIFICATION ASSISTANCE NEEDED – Do You Know This Man Bun?
WEST MANCHESTER TOWNSHIP, PA – IDENTIFICATION ASSISTANCE NEEDED! PLEASE SHARE! We are attempting to identify the male in the attached photo regarding a retail theft of car detailing products that …
Giant’s ‘Marty’ The Robot Accused Of Sexual Harassment
CARLISLE, PA – The futuristic and presumably friendly robot ‘Marty’ may not be so innocent according to some shoppers who report being sexually harassed by the roving robot. “He was …
Canadians Politely Greet Hurricane Dorian
HALIFAX, NOVA SCOTIA – No longer a threat to Alabama Hurricane Dorian is exiting United States waters and entering Canadian waters where thousands of Canadians have gathered on the shores …
The Annual Return Of Spawning Orcas In The Susquehanna River Begins A Month Early
HOLTWOOD, PA – Orcas have begun their annual return to the Susquehanna River to spawn nearly a month early. The annual orca spawn usually begins in early October but according …
