PennDOT Announces Round-About

By Mack Granite – Earlier this week PennDOT officials announce round-about will be installed at the intersection of route 741 and route 23 in Lancaster County.

When reports asked for the reason behind this round-about PennDot spokeswoman Mary Spooner responded “Why the fuck not?”  The room became silent briefly before the next question from a Township resident.  Peter Simon who lives near one of the proposed round-abouts asked if there would be any type of traffic control devises other than yield signs. PennDOT stated there was brief discussion about contracting the Canadian Mounted Police to patrol the area.

There was also grave concern about the round-about being so close to the rail road tracks.  A representative from Norfolk Southern says that “Lancaster County has the most impatient fucks driving around.  Get the fuck over it and give your passenger a hand job to pass the time.”

Construction is set to begin Sunday night and continue through mid October.  While construction is being done the intersection will remain closed.  Commuters will have to find alternate routes to the area.  The price of the round about is estimated to cost tax payers $7.7 million