Residents Panic at Unobstructed Roads

Shawn Williams reporting – Lancaster City residents were in a panic Tuesday morning when one of the major roadways through Lancaster was found unobstructed.

“This was simply an oversight on our part,” explained Elaine Closure, spokesperson for PENNDOT. “We had coordinated efforts with UGI, Verizon and PP&L, and somehow the Lime Street projects failed to overlap as planned.”

For almost eight blocks, Lime Street had no major obstructions this morning. Local residents were unprepared and uncertain how to react.

“I mean – it was just chaos. There were some drivers going 25, 30 miles per hour!” exclaimed one driver who was visibly shaken but asked to remain anonymous. “I drove from one end of the city to the other, and it only took like five minutes! Luckily there was plenty of congestion once I hit Liberty Street to calm me down.”

In a press release sent out Tuesday afternoon, the mayor’s office announced immediate action would be taken. “The Mayor completely understands the seriousness and is taking steps to correct this situation immediately.  He has ordered all of the lightbulbs in the traffic signals replaced – with the work to start promptly at 4pm and to last until at least 6pm – to ensure traffic does not run smoothly through the city. In addition, he has requested local businesses to schedule tractor trailer deliveries during the busiest hours. ”

Unfortunately, several of the business owners POL spoke with stated that they were unable to request additional deliveries because their business has declined.

“It’s almost as if people don’t want to drive through the heavy congestion to shop downtown or something crazy like that – I just don’t understand it,” explained local headshop owner, Herb Stoker.