Congressional conservatives are investigating reports that Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg passed away during closing arguments over two years ago. No one had notice the unfortunate passing until Justice Sonia Sotomayor notice Justice Ginsburg was still seated in the court room 9 hours after arguments concluded.
A conservative spokesperson suggested that progressive leaders felt no one could provide a stronger more confrontational voice in than court than Justice Ginsburg. This prompted a covert group of political operative to carry out the bold action of “keeping Justice Ginsburg in the game” through a voice actress and former big-game taxidermist.
Left leaning jurist “huddle” together when an opinion must be rendered, then take opinion to outer reaches of reason and common sense to imitate what the former Justice might have expressed. “We must be doing something right, it took two years for anyone to notice.” said the confidential insider.
Sources close to the court have said the other justices have expressed sadness toward the loss of their colleague; but would actually prefer the court remain as is. The only noted except was Justice Thomas, who seemed quite disturbed by the news. “I have had several in-depth conversations with Ruth and I thought we really hit it off” Justice Thomas sadly said.