Local Halloween entertainment venue, “Mountville Screams” has come up with a brand new way to scare Lancaster County. Owners began to notice that traditional horror characters such as ghosts, zombies and killer clowns weren’t frightening the crowds like they used to. Customer focus groups suggested that these types of creatures were not scary because they were obviously make-believe. The modern Halloween attraction audience is more sophisticated. They crave scares grounded in real-life.
Based on this info, a brand new attraction titled “Permanent Siesta” has been added to the park. Focusing on an irrational fear of Mexicans, “Permanent Siesta” promises to exploit the global ignorance of Central Pennsylvanians. After all, we fear what we do not know.
Some of the attraction’s more horrifying experiences include a giant television that streams nothing but Univision, the consumption of foreign chewing gum, and a constant bombardment of Latino men holding hands with blonde women.
If the attraction proves to be too intense for an audience member, they have the option of escaping by climbing over a ten foot wall built around the parameters.