Williamsport, PA – In a devastating turn of events, Little League World Series Officials have determined that three players on the local Red Land team are accused of doping. Butchie Anderson, Jimmy Tanner, and Billy Jones, all age 12, have been suspended after traces of a number of illegal steroids were discovered in a discarded Lunchables container found in the team’s dugout. Players and managers continue to plead innocent, although Anderson was recorded punching a hole in the locker room’s concrete wall when confronted by the press.
This is not the first scandal to plague the Red Land team. Two weeks ago, nine members of local Brownie Troop 256 were found sneaking out of the team’s hotel well after curfew.