Trump’s China Tariffs Benefit Local Dildo Manufacturer

Sarah Lapp carefully crafts the Intruder buttplug

East Lampeter Twp – The trade war with China has negatively impacted many industries however there is one local company that is reaping the rewards. Mister Fister Dildoes is America’s leading dildo manufacturer and their headquarters is nestled quietly in Amish Country in the Greenfield Industrial Park. Their profits this year are up 74% over last due mainly because of steep tariffs placed on Chinese dildoes.

“The tariffs have been a blessing for sure from a financial standpoint, however when it comes to something as intimate as a dildo people should be buying American anyway” stated Public Relations Director Anita Wyderbox. “The Chinese dildoes may look, even feel good, but many contain lead and other toxic chemicals. While all of our products exceed EPA, FDA, OSHA and Brazzer’s standard for excellence”

Mister Fister employs 200 at its Lancaster County facility and is planning and expansion which should add 75 more jobs in the Spring of 2020. “The erection of our new building will greatly increase our production ability and add a few new product lines. We’ll also be adding a robotics division to our R&D department to help develop the next wave in dildo tech”

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